The gift of time

The craziness of our world today makes it seem as if time stood still, or at least, dragged on. Sometime from March 19 through today, time became irrelevant. The shutdown of our country gave people a lot of time at home, many for good, but plenty for bad. Time gave us opportunities to think, as painful as that can be for many.

I was made for the quarantine. I enjoyed each moment of being at home with my peeps, my dog, the silence, and the comfort. I had finally time to grieve, as deeply and openly as I can.

Grieving and acknowledging your feelings can be too painful. I’ve turned away from thinking about Allie some times, because I’m tired of crying. I get tired of grieving, and I don’t like to feel the pain. It’s exhausting, and I don’t always have time to be tired. I need to keep moving, and I need to take care of people.

Yet, facing our fears of pain and sorrow is important. Facing what we dread head-on is important. It doesn’t have to happen all the time. I’ve allowed myself time to grieve and be sad. I’ve also allowed myself to not face it. That’s ok. Yes, it is ok.

When I decide to face my sadness and loss, I do so head-on. Yes, I don’t want to think about these all the time, because it’s very easy to wallow in this darkness. It is easier sometimes.

The key is to tell yourself, before you face your fears, that you will stop being in the dark after a certain time. Time becomes your friend when you allow yourself the gift of time to feel, the gift of time to heal, and the gift of time to be happy again.

The world we live in demands instant gratification. That goes for solving problems and tackling issues. No one has time to sit around and ponder. No one wants to take the time to talk. But time is so important. Time allows us to the gain the wisdom and strength to know when it’s a good opportunity to make something good or to check out of a bad situation.

Give yourself time to know who you are. We may not have a long time to live, but every day is a good day to learn to be good, to do good and to make good.

Wallowing in pain is making time stand still. That’s ok too. But after some time, look at the sky. Look at nature. Look up from your phones or devices. There is a whole beautiful world out there that doesn’t judge you, and God created it just for you to see how beautiful and special you are. Every flower, breath of fresh air, cloud and branch was made for you and me. This shows how God loves us so much. This means you are meaningful. This means you will be meaningful to someone someday, and this means you need to do something. Make time to do something meaningful and good. Make time for yourself. Make time for others. Make time for God.


I clearly remember Allie’s graduation day in 2016. The day started with high humidity, followed by rain, and the skies opening up just long enough for the young ladies to process, make their bows, and sing their class song, Home by Phillip Phillips. It’s a prophetic song that rings so true.

I found it to be a beautiful day. I listen to this song all the time. It reminds me of Allie, and it speaks of God, love, family, school, purpose, loyalty and camaraderie. It reminds us all that someone is willing to listen. We don’t always know how to say it or show it, but there are people who want to help others who are crying silently inside.

To those who are looking for a shoulder to lean on, or a hand to hold on to, reach out. You can reach out here or to someone you think you can trust. Resources are posted here to help you find that connection.

I find that looking at someone’s eyes speaks volumes. It shows you care, it shows you are present. You can’t always see that through our phones or devices.

I’m posting the song here as a reminder that someone is home, wherever home may be, to listen and care. We can try to help you find your home.