“I love you forever”

I watch some tearjerker movies, and it always strikes me when there’s a climactic moment that “famous last words” are uttered, either by someone dying or about to leave, etc. Memorable phrases stay in our minds, like “here’s looking at you kid” or “you had me at hello”.

I think about the last words I said to Allie on the day she died. It was just a regular day for me. She was in class, so she couldn’t respond back in detail. She never did answer me back or return my call. I go back over this almost everyday.

I miss talking to my girl.

I’ve always tried to make each moment I have with my family count. When we lost my dad 16 years ago, I remember how he used to always impart a small piece of lovely wisdom before we part with him. He had been suffering from prostate cancer, and he had been given only 3 months to live. The doctor did not catch this disease early enough. His last word to my mother, before he fell into a coma from which he would never recover, was to call out her name. She came running, and my dad had this sad yet sheepish look on his face just before he collapsed. My mom said that he looked as if he was trying to tell her, “well, this is it.”

So since then, I try to always tell my kids and husband that I love them before we go our separate ways each day. I make sure they know I mean it. I make sure they know I am sincere. I never want to walk away with a hurtful word or gesture. I’m not perfect, but I try not to.

If you find yourself so angry, lost and helpless, don’t let the last interaction you have be with someone who doesn’t have a loving bone in their spirit. People are not perfect, and we should not expect perfection from ourselves and others. There is only one clear and honest spirit who can help you, and you know that. It may seem such a distant and out of reach concept. Prayer, true deep prayer, is life changing. Even if a true deep prayer doesn’t often come to you, keep trying.

The last thing you should remember is that you are loved. Someone loves you always. You are important. You could be important to someone. Find the meaning in your life by leaving a lasting loving impression on someone. That is what makes us holy and special. Our life here is not about what job we take on or how much our salary is. Our most critical and life affirming job that can define us is how we treat other people. Find a way to do something good for someone each day. Make that touch point meaningful and positive.

Make someone’s heart glow just a little bit brighter each day.

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